


constellations

by vignettes



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, Insecurity, Light Angst, M/M, also for validation bc of special nano induced suffering, writing this to take a break from my nano fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 19:22:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8634913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vignettes/pseuds/vignettes
Summary: Oikawa loves Iwaizumi so much it scares him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> ~~unedited bc i wrote this to take a break from my official nano fic and now i have to finish that one (rip)~~
> 
> edited: 240518  
> also i just realized how much of this is me projecting lmao

Oikawa loves Iwaizumi so much it scares him. Loves him with an intensity to rival his passion for volleyball. ( _I don’t think this is going to work out, you pay more attention to volleyball than to me_ , his first girlfriend says when she breaks up with him.)

Oikawa loves Iwaizumi so much, he is terrified of losing him. Terrified of scaring him away. ( _Your personality is shitty, Oikawa_ , and how many times has he heard that?)

Oikawa knows, he knows he cannot lose Iwaizumi. He would not survive a life, live a life, love a life without Iwaizumi. (And this is what his mother calls “unhealthy codependence,” because without Iwaizumi he is nothing.)

.

There is no grand spectacle that starts their relationship. Neither of them turn up dramatically at the other’s door in the middle of the night. There are no drunken phone calls, no “I’m straight” girlfriends. Oikawa is not even entirely sure when their romantic relationship starts, officially.

He recalls teasing, and not-teasing, flirting in high school and sharing their first kiss in elementary school, though admittedly he doesn’t remember this so much as his parents like to remind them of the pictures documenting this event. 

It’s this that he thinks about when he pulls Iwaizumi in for what he now considers to be their first real kiss, when they are in the living room of the apartment they split the rent for and studying for the first exams of the school year.

The kiss is chaste, sweet. Oikawa’s fingers run through Iwaizumi’s hair when he pulls back.

“Not that I’m complaining,” Iwaizumi comments, a soft smile playing on his lips, “but what was that for?”

“Motivation!” Oikawa supplies as an answer, and Iwaizumi’s smile grows as he chuckles. And oh, Oikawa is so, so in love.

.

There is a reason Oikawa had waited for university before calling one of his outings with Iwaizumi a date, but when he and Iwaizumi return to Miyagi for their first break of the year, it seems like a silly reason. (When he gets to wake up next to Iwaizumi every morning and kiss him every day, he thinks it a very silly reason indeed.)

“Tooru, Hajime, come in!” His mother is the one to greet them at the door, his father coming towards them in the hallway behind her.

Iwaizumi’s parents are waiting for them on the couch in the living room, photo albums propped open on their legs and resting on the coffee table.

“It’s nice to see you again, Tooru,” Iwaizumi’s parents tell him. “How is college?”

The first time Oikawa isn’t in direct contact with Iwaizumi is when he gets up to help his own parents in the kitchen and he realizes the space Iwaizumi leaves behind is cold.

Yet when he goes back and is surrounded by his family—his sister has come back with his nephew and brother-in-law, and Iwaizumi’s parents have always felt like a second set of his own—he has never felt so warm and loved and genuinely happy.

He wouldn’t give it up for the world, he realizes, watching Iwaizumi with fond eyes.

Iwaizumi looks up at him, too, catching him staring, and it’s embarrassing until Iwaizumi nudges him and motions for him to eat, to which he happily complies.

.

It takes effort, but Oikawa manages to not wake Iwaizumi at two in the morning the next time he’s bored of studying and doesn’t want to do any more homework.

Iwaizumi, somehow, usually manages to finish his homework at a respectable time and gets a decent amount of sleep when he doesn’t have work, and he has never been overly fond of Oikawa waking him up at _ass o’clock in the morning_.

So Oikawa stops. He gets a glass of water and refocuses on completing his work in time to get five hours of sleep before his 10 o’clock, which Iwaizumi wakes him up for at nine.

“Next time, don’t sleep on the couch,” Iwaizumi scolds him. “You don’t have to worry about waking me up, or something stupid like that.”

“Iwa-chan, did you miss me?” Oikawa replies, as light-hearted as always, but he’s the one blushing when Iwaizumi replies, turning away and heading to the kitchen for breakfast.

“It’s lonely waking up without you.”

Oikawa can’t help but agree. _It’s colder without you_ , he doesn’t say, _I always want to wake up next to you_.

.

They don’t often hold hands in public. Oikawa does not demand to, knows that Iwaizumi is not so fond of putting their relationship on display.

They do walk a little closer, arms brushing as they swing back and forth. Sometimes, Oikawa grabs Iwaizumi and pulls him along just to have an excuse to be touching (just to have that reassurance that Iwaizumi is there and will not leave) but this is nothing new.

Except now that they are dating, Oikawa is hyper aware of Iwaizumi’s protests and eases up the moment he complains.

If Iwaizumi is more quiet (confused? Oikawa thinks, maybe) when they reach their destination (a new cafe that he’s been wanting to try out for a while now) neither of them say anything about it, and it is forgotten not a minute after walking through the door and seeing Yahaba behind the counter.

.

Oikawa knows he acts differently now, he can’t help it. If he catches and stops himself before being purposefully annoying, well, shouldn’t that make Iwaizumi happy? 

Oikawa will tone down his habits for Iwaizumi. He will do anything for Iwaizumi.

.

They eat breakfast and dinner together most days, unless they have work. Iwaizumi does most of the cooking and Oikawa washes the dishes. They have a mutual agreement that Oikawa will not use the stove or oven anymore.

“Dinner’s ready,” Iwaizumi tells him, head poking in through the door.

Oikawa removes his glasses and rubs at his eyes, turning to smile at him. “I’m coming.”

“Have you been sleeping?” The table is already set, Iwaizumi sitting across from Oikawa. “You look more tired than usual.”

“Of course, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa sings.

Iwaizumi frowns, but Oikawa changes the subject.

Still, Oikawa has more work to do after washing the dishes, and by the time Iwaizumi is done showering, he can do nothing but offer weak excuses.

“Come to bed,” Iwaizumi says. “I’m worried about you.”

When he wears that face of distress, Oikawa cannot say no. His heart hurts a little, he never wants to see Iwaizumi like this again. He rises, the video of their upcoming opponent’s most recent volleyball game lying open, forgotten, behind him.

.

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi is the first to speak. “Do you-" a pause as he searches for words- " _regret_ our relationship?”

Oikawa’s heart leaps to his throat, eyes wide and breath caught in his chest. “What? Hajime, no, where did this come from?”

Iwaizumi doesn’t meet his eyes; the night sky is beautiful but Oikawa only looks at Iwaizumi’s profile in the dim lighting. “Nothing, it’s just… Forget it, I’m being stupid.”

And Oikawa panics more. “Iwa-chan,” he breathes, mind chasing after words to say. “Hajime, look at me.”

This gets Iwaizumi’s attention. Oikawa can’t be sure, but he thinks he spies a hint of a blush.

“Why do you think I regret this?” Half of him doesn’t want an answer, but the other half silently begs Iwaizumi to respond and not brush him off.

Iwaizumi shrugs. “You’ve been acting different. You don’t wake me up in the middle of the night, you don’t make as many petty comments, stuff like that.” He shakes his head. “Like I said, I’m just being stupid. Sorry.”

Guilt stabs Oikawa in the chest. “Hajime, I love you.”

Iwaizumi, catching Oikawa’s intense stare, sputters in response, but Oikawa keep talking. “I’m sorry, Hajime, all of that is my fault. I thought you wouldn’t love me if I kept annoying you.”

Now it’s Iwaizumi’s turn to look aghast. “You thought I wouldn’t love you?”

And something in his voice makes Oikawa choke out a laugh, hands reaching up to wipe at his eyes. (It’s the sheer disbelief, he thinks, the horror at the thought of Iwaizumi not loving Oikawa, because when they sit here, together, like this, he does find it hard to take a thought like that seriously.)

Iwaizumi says Oikawa’s name like a promise, voice radiating warmth and love. “Tooru,” he says, trying it out, “Tooru, I love you, too.”

.

“It’s silly,” Iwaizumi tells him later. “I’ve loved you for so long, every part of you, I never thought that anyone could think otherwise, least of all you.”

 _Your shitty personality is endearing, somehow_ , he confesses, _but maybe I’m just too whipped_.

This time, when Oikawa squacks an indignant response, he thinks that he will never tire of hearing Iwaizumi saying “I love you.”

.

He loves him, so much more than he is used to loving people. Oikawa doesn’t realize how much he needs Iwaizumi, and only Iwaizumi, because he’s the only one who has seen Oikawa at his very worst and continued to love him. Only Iwaizumi, because he is the only one who puts up with the parts of Oikawa even Oikawa hates about himself (and it is still a struggle to change this sentence in his mind, change it to: he _loves_ the parts of Oikawa even Oikawa hates about himself.)

Oikawa needs Iwaizumi, he thinks, needs him more than air, needs him to be there to know and accept all of Oikawa, needs him to love all of that too, because Iwaizumi is the only one who Oikawa loves to completely and thoroughly.

Because, as strange of a feeling as it is, he is happy.

**Author's Note:**

> validate me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/hyouteii)


End file.
